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Lorne
February 23rd, 2009, 02:56 PM
(This isn't directed at you patscc)


YOU KNOW YOU ARE FROM WISCONSIN WHEN...

Your whole family wears green and gold to church on Sunday.
You define summer as three months of bad sledding.
Snow tires come standard on all your cars.
You refer to the Packers as "we."
You have gotten frostbitten and sunburned in the same week.
You can identify an Illinois accent.
You know what cow-tipping is.
You learned to drive a tractor before the training wheels were off your
bike.
Down south to you means Chicago; traveling coast to coast means going
from La Crosse to Milwaukee.
A brat is something you eat.
You have no problem spelling Milwaukee.
You consider Madison exotic.
You don't have a coughing fit from one sip of Pabst Blue Ribbon.
You can actually pronounce Oconomowoc.
You know what a bubbler is.
Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a cow next to your blue
spruce.
Your neighbor throws a party to celebrate his new machine shed.
You go out for fish fry every Friday.
You can recognize someone from Illinois from their driving.
You know how to polka.
Formal wear is blue jeans & a baseball cap.
You are unaware there is a legal drinking age.
Your 4th of July Family Picnic was moved indoors due to frost.
You know where Waukesha is AND can pronounce it.
You decided to have a picnic this summer because it fell on a weekend.
You can visit Luxemburg, Holland, Belgium, Denmark, Berlin, New London &
Poland all in one afternoon.
You only know three spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup.
You design your Halloween costumes to fit over a snowsuit.
You've seen mosquitoes with landing lights.
You have more miles on your snowblower than your car.
You enjoy driving in the winter because the potholes fill in with snow.
Your sexy lingerie is tube socks and a flannel nightie.
You owe more money on your snowmobile than on your car.
The local paper covers major headlines on 1 page, but requires 4 pages
for sports.
At least twice a year, your kitchen doubles as a meat processing plant.
Your snowblower gets stuck on the roof.
You think the start of deer season is a national holiday.
You find 0 degrees a little chilly.
You know what to do with a Blatz.
You actually understand these jokes.

frozenfire75i
February 23rd, 2009, 03:34 PM
Some of that applys to life out here in Montana.

Here is a little something I got on my liveing room walls..


http://www.ibm5150pc.com/MT.jpg

Terry Yager
February 23rd, 2009, 06:51 PM
Sheeh! All of the above applies to Michigan. Now I'm lost...where are we...?
BTW, they're spelled PASTYs, the other kind are found on strippers...but oddly enough, both kind are good to eat!

You really know you're from Michigan if you begin celebrating the day the Cass River floods. My friend, Louie Switalski, has a farm over by Bray Rd, just off 57. He has a lil' couple acre pond, out beyond a 40-acre field, which he keeps stocked with trout. Whenever the Cass leaves her banks, he ends up with a pond fulla carp and sucker, so in the spring he throws what has become known as a 'Pond Party'. Lots of good folks, plenty of food, and the beer & whiskey flow freely. The ritual actually involves blowing the pond with dynamite! He tries to make the show a little more spetacular (and the pond a little bigger) each year. Last time I went, he used two full cases. Ever see a pond go airborne? Only in Michigan...

--T

Floppies_only
February 26th, 2009, 07:52 PM
Last time I went, he used two full cases. Ever see a pond go airborne? Only in Michigan...

--T

Does the water sheet flow right back into the pond after it is blown out? Or does it soak into the ground and return to the pond over the water table?

Sean

Terry Yager
February 26th, 2009, 09:09 PM
It actually takes a couple-few days for it to refill, which gives him time to get in there with the D6 and enlarge & deepen things a little.

--T

patscc
February 27th, 2009, 04:46 AM
Lorne said...(This isn't directed at you patscc)
Of course not. Never thought it was. Everyone knows I'm not from Wisconsin, I just live here. How about you Lorne, you from AZ or just passin' through ?



# You buy salsa by the gallon.


# Your Christmas decorations include a half a yard of sand and l00 paper bags.


# You think a red light is merely a suggestion.


# All of your out-of-state friends start to visit after October but clear out come the end of April.


# You think someone driving wearing oven mitts is clever.


# Most of the restaurants in town have the first name "El" or "Los".


# You think 60 tons of crushed rock makes a beautiful yard.


# You've signed so many petitions to recall governors that you can't remember the name of the incumbent.


# You notice your car overheating before you drive it.


# Your house is made of stucco and has a red clay tile roof.


# You can say "Hohokam" and people don't think you're laughing funny.


# You no longer associate bridges (or rivers) with water.


# You see more irrigation water on the street than there is in the Salt River.


# You know a swamp cooler is not a happy hour drink.


# You can say 115 degrees without fainting.


# Every other vehicle is a 4x4.


# You can be in the snow, then drive for an hour and it will be over 100 degrees.


# Vehicles with open windows have the right-of-way in the summer.


# People break out coats when temperature drops below 70 degrees.


# You discover, in July, it only takes two fingers to drive your car.


# The pool can be warmer than you are.


# You can make sun tea instantly.


# You run your air conditioner in the middle of winter so you can use your fireplace.


# Most homes have more firearms than people.


# Kids will ask, "What's a mosquito?"


# People who have black cars or black upholstery in their car are automatically assumed to be from out-of-state or nuts.


# You notice the best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.


# The AC is on your list of best friends.


# Monday Night Football starts at 7:00 instead of 6:00.


# You realize that Valley Fever isn't a disco dance.


# You can finish a Big Gulp in 10 minutes and go back for seconds.


# The water from the cold water tap is the same temperature as the hot one.


# You can (correctly) pronounce the words: "Saguaro", "Ocotillo", "Tempe", "Gila Bend", "San Xavier", "Canyon de Chelly", "Mogollon Rim", "Cholla", and "Ajo".


# It's noon in July, kids are on summer vacation, and not one person is walking on the streets.


# You experience third degree burns if you touch any metal part of your car.

# You know better than to get into a car with leather seats if you're wearing shorts.

# Announcements for Fourth of July events never end with "in case of rain......"


# When someone asks how far you live from a location, it's always in terms of minutes, not miles.


# Everyone's smiling and talking about the great weather on rainy days.


# You have to explain to out-of-staters why there is no daylight savings time.


patscc

barythrin
February 27th, 2009, 10:24 AM
Yeah ok this'll get outta hand quick but hey it's Friday and it's funny when you can relate to 'em.

YOU KNOW YOU'RE IN TEXAS WHEN....

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
You see more Texan flags than American flags.

You no longer associate bridges with water.

You can say 110 degrees without fainting.

You eat hot chilies to cool your mouth off.

You can make instant sun tea.

You learn that a seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron.

The temperature drops below 95 and you feel a bit chilly.

You discover that in July it takes only two fingers to drive your car.

You discover that you can get a sunburn through your car window.

You know the best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.

Hot water comes out of both taps.

You actually burn your hand opening the car door.

No one would dream of putting vinyl upholstery in a car or not having air conditioning.

You break a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m. before work.

You realize asphalt has a liquid state.

It's so hot the birds have to use pot holders to pull worms out of the ground.

It's so hot that potatoes cook underground and all you have to do for lunch is to pull one out and add butter with trimmings.

It's so hot farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying hard boiled eggs.

You only know five spices: salt, pepper, Ranch dressing, BBQ sauce and tabasco.

You design your Halloween costume to fit over Wranglers and cowboy boots.

The mosquitoes have landing lights.

You have more miles on your tractor than your car.

You have 10 favorite recipes for deer meat.

You've taken your kids trick-or-treating when it was 90 degrees outside.

You think sexy lingerie is tube-socks and a flannel nightie with only 8 buttons.

You can write a check at Dairy Queen for two Hunger Busters and fries.

You attend a formal event in your best clothes, your finest jewelry and your cowboy boots.

People grumble about Noah letting coyotes on the ark.

The preacher says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering." and five guys stand up.

A member of the church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive truck because "It ain't never been in a hole it couldn't get out of."

When it rains, everyone is smiling.

The Pastor wears boots.

Four generations of the same family sit together in worship.

Finding and returning lost sheep isn't just a parable.

High notes on the organ can set the dogs to howling.

People wonder, when Jesus fed 5,000, whether the two fish were bass or catfish.

The final words of the benediction are, "Ya'll come back now, ya hear?"

It's a common misconception that everything is twice as big in Texas, really, everything is 1.965 times bigger, but we round up.

It's a common misconception that the women have big hair. In fact this was outlawed in July 1977. There is a task force and they are doing their best to reach every last woman. Bear with us.

It's a common misconception that JR Ewing still lives here. That was a TV show people! Come on! Chuck Norris, on the other hand, is a real, karate-choppin' Texas Ranger.

It's a common misconception that we have killer bees, fire ants, gigantic roaches and mosquitoes and other awful insects, tornadoes, hurricanes, and damaging hailstorms. We tend to think of them as a few bitty bugs and a bad hair day.

You know someone who ate the 72 oz steak and got it for free

You're disappointed when a food doesn't come in spicy flavor.

It's a common misconception that everyone speaks with a Texas accent. Y'all just don't know what y'all are talkin' about.

Yzzerdd
February 27th, 2009, 11:11 AM
I'd like to add:

You know you're in TEXAS when at a restraunt, under "vegtables" you find "Macaroni and Cheese."

I'll take a picture of that next time I'm at Cabbage Patch Cafe.

--Ryan

Lorne
February 27th, 2009, 06:54 PM
@patscc:
Yep, there's a whole lot of them I can really relate to (including the pronunciation of the names). I go with 34 out of the 40.
There was a woman on the TV news last summer. She was baking cookies for her office co-workers every day. She was putting them on a cookie sheet in her car, and then leaving them on the dash to bake - 2 hours later they were ready, and her car smelled great every day.
(you don't leave a ball-point pen on your dash here, ever !)

Summertime = the water you rinse your mouth with after brushing your teeth is 50F. 1st time I moved here was on an Aug 6th, and it took two weeks for me to realize the gas to the water heater hadn't been turned on yet - the water heater was in a closet on the balcony, and it was still plenty warm enough (ie: 110 F) to have a shower in.


@barythrin:
"You can say 110 degrees without fainting" ?
What the heck is 110 F? (that's a nice summer's day in PHX)
I thought Texas was the state where everything was bigger.
Not this time !?

Terry Yager
February 28th, 2009, 02:30 AM
(you don't leave a ball-point pen on your dash here, ever !)

Ever see a cheap butane lighter explode? I'm a little slow, so I didn't learn not to keep 'em on the dashboard of a truck until the second one blew up in my face while driving.

--T

barythrin
March 2nd, 2009, 09:11 AM
lol I had plastic "vote for xx" pin (for a friend of mine running for office of a local security association years back). I *NEVER* thought about it but just had it in my center console during summer. For whatever reason I decided to go somewhere (probably seeking computer equipment) and looked up at the top of my truck and saw a burn mark in the felt (just black.. took me a bit to figure out what it was vs marker). Pretty crazy, the sun bounced off that stupid voting pin and burned (fortunately didn't catch anything on fire) the felt.