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View Full Version : Bastard Operator From Hell - Required reading



mbbrutman
July 7th, 2003, 06:53 PM
Enjoy!

http://bofh.ntk.net/Bastard.html

curtis
August 24th, 2003, 03:14 PM
Amazingly enough, I just heard about BOFH today!

Excellent stuff!!!!

Terry Yager
November 15th, 2003, 09:45 AM
Ne1 know where to find the bastard sysadmin from hell?

--T

machine
May 9th, 2005, 12:59 PM
The BOFH is hilarious... (There's a bit of me in there !!!). I was cruel and vicious to people calling me up for support.

joe sixpack
May 9th, 2005, 02:11 PM
ya its been around for a long time i dont think they even make'em anymore
that guy is way way way over the top... but it has givin me some good ideas :twisted:

machine
May 9th, 2005, 06:06 PM
Also, I sometimes would go out to fix a computer problem. I would tell the female users this one.

I would say:
"It's the power cord ! Did you shake it to get rid of the bad electrons before plugging it in to your computer?"

They would invariably say no and then I would show them how to shake the power cord. I would tell them to do this every time prior to switch on. The real problem having been fixed I would leave. Hehehehe.

Sometimes keys would not work on the keyboard. I would tell the female operators: "You've used up all the 'D's". Try not to type the 'D's anymore. They would agree strongly and I would replace the keyboard and run.

Terry Yager
May 9th, 2005, 06:52 PM
"It's the power cord ! Did you shake it to get rid of the bad electrons before plugging it in to your computer?"

What? You didn't warn them about the cable mites that live inside the wires?

http://64.233.167.104/search?q=cache:zDFgIzh7JNAJ:entweb.clemson.edu/cuentres/eiis/pdfs/bb6.pdf+cable+mite&hl=en

--T

Terry Yager
May 9th, 2005, 09:55 PM
If ya wanna have some real fun, next time you go out on an on-site call, be sure to warn one or more of the personel about the (biting, rash-causing, microscopic) cable mites in the wires (see above). Next call to that location, you'll note that virtually everyone in the office will be itching & scratching like crazy.
The myth of the cable mite is considered to be a meme. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Meme
The origin of this meme comes from the early days of the telephone, when switchboard operators would complain of itchy rashes on the hands & arms after handling the wires all day, manually making the necessary connections. The operators blamed the problem on microscopic bugs that they insisted lived in the wires. The source of the rashes was eventually traced to the wires, all right, but not because of invisible bugs. Wires, in the pre-plastic era used cloth for insulation. Turns out that the constant bending & flexing of the wires was causing them to slough-off microscopic particles that could irritate the skin and cause rashes.

--T

CP/M User
May 12th, 2005, 12:44 PM
Just the other day we had a projector from hell. This one is designed to hookup to your computer (laptop, or whatever).
For some reason it wanted to play up (don't they all?). I didn't want to touch it, but it looked as if the power cord was playing up on it, cause it was going on/off.
The others were moving the cord around & you could hear the juice comming from the cord (one reason I didn't want to touch it!). Eventually, it just came on all by itself (Spooky!) - until they decided to move it (back off again), fortunately it started shortly after.

It's been quite funny for myself, cause the overhead projector at school decided to pack it in too, well the globe had blown! Instead of my teacher changing the globe, he nicked another overhead projector from another room (should of wished for that to blow as well - might of happened! ;-) The same guy was having fun with the Video too, the picture was flickerning, it corrected itself when he was going to get another VCR. Poor chap, must be against technology for it to all break down on him! ;-)

CP/M User.