PDA

View Full Version : Movie Cliche's



ziloo
August 20th, 2006, 12:15 PM
--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Now that we are ranting about Hollywood, here is some stuff I found on the net:

26 things movies have taught us

1) Large, loft-style apartments in New York City are well within the price range of most people--whether they are employed or not.

2) At least one of a pair of identical twins is born evil.

3) Should you decide to defuse a bomb, don't worry which wire to cut. You will always choose the right one.

4) Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communications system of any invading alien society.

5) It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts: your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.

6) When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in your bedroom will still be clearly visible, just slightly bluish.

7) If you are blonde and pretty, it is possible to become a world expert on nuclear fission at the age of 22.

8 ) Honest and hard-working policemen are traditionally gunned down three days before their retirement.

9) Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their arch enemies using complicated machinery involving fuses, pulley systems, deadly gasses, lasers and man-eating sharks, which will allow their captives at least 20 minutes to escape.

10) All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets that reach the armpit level on a woman, but only to waist level on the man lying beside her.

11) All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French bread.

12) It's easy for anyone to land a plane, providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you down.

13) Once applied, lipstick will never rub off--even while scuba diving.

14) You're very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you the make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.

15) Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German or Russian officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language. A German or Russian accent will do.

16) The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.

17) A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating, but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.

18 ) If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through it before long.

19) If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing dress.

20) Word processors never display a cursor on screen but will always say: "Enter Password Now."

21) Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments.

22) All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off.

23) A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.

24) If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you meet will know all the steps.

25) Police departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.

26) When they are alone, all foreign military officers prefer to speak to each other in English.

:biggrin:

carlsson
August 20th, 2006, 01:41 PM
Re 13: isn't there water-proof lipstick? I'm certainly no expert in the subject, but I'd suppose there is something more lasting than usual.

15 and 26: If the movie is made in English, I guess it is for practical reasons they would not speak in a different language, requiring a lot of subtitling or (horror!) dubbing part of the movie. In some movies they speak in different languages, but perhaps not so common in Hollywood productions.

I like how BBC solved the language thing in the TV series 'Allo 'Allo. The French, German, Italian etc spoke English with slight accents. The few English characters spoke in real English unless they were trying to speak "French". The English constaple all the time used the wrong vowels and wrong words, to illustrate his difficulties with the "French" language, like

-"Good mourning!"

bbcmicro
August 21st, 2006, 03:46 AM
lmao

"There is a sosarge in my palicemoans pints"

carlsson
August 21st, 2006, 05:31 AM
I think that actor even had Swedish ancestors, based on his surname. Maybe from the 19th century or even earlier, but still.

bbcmicro
August 22nd, 2006, 02:53 PM
Here's another one:

Don't worry if you are outnumbered and surrounded by the enemy, all possesing sub-machine guns and you a small hand-pistol. They always miss you, and you manage to gun down half their number before making a heroic retreat.

Terry Yager
August 22nd, 2006, 05:32 PM
Here's another one:

Don't worry if you are outnumbered and surrounded by the enemy, all possesing sub-machine guns and you a small hand-pistol. They always miss you, and you manage to gun down half their number before making a heroic retreat.

...without you or them ever having to reload!

Pop Quiz: How long does it take to empty a 20-round magazine in an M-16, on full auto?

Answer: 2.4 secondz (according to my ol' Drill Trainer, Sgt. Trombley)! AKs, Uzis, Ingrams, etc, all have similar rates of fire. Think about it, next time ya see one of those prolonged Hollywood fire-fights. Within 3 - 4 seconds, everyone is out of ammo...

--T

Terry Yager
August 22nd, 2006, 05:55 PM
Exception to the above: When you're watching an ol' gangster movie from prohabition timez, keep in mind that the Thompson gunz they uzed have a lot slower rate of fire than modern weaponz, and thoze big ol' drum magazinez hold a lot of roundz, so a 1 - 1.5 minute gun battle is within the realm of credibility...

--T

bbcmicro
August 23rd, 2006, 01:17 AM
Within 3 - 4 seconds, everyone is out of ammo...
If only...

atari2600a
August 24th, 2006, 03:59 PM
I just thought of one: 15 year old mix tapes never suffer from magnetic deterioration & are of CD quality!

DimensionDude
August 24th, 2006, 06:42 PM
I just thought of one: 15 year old mix tapes never suffer from magnetic deterioration & are of CD quality!


A corollary to that: all tape decks and recorders (including video) still have sound output when fast winding the tape. Oh, and when searching for a specific point on the tape, the person *always* finds it on the first try.

Kent

atari2600a
August 24th, 2006, 09:34 PM
...at exactly the right moment of recording!

Actually, most VCR's still display video if you fast-forward while playing...

80sFreak
August 25th, 2006, 09:34 AM
A corollary to that: all tape decks and recorders (including video) still have sound output when fast winding the tape. Oh, and when searching for a specific point on the tape, the person *always* finds it on the first try.


I have an old tape recorder/player boombox that if you press the fast forward button *while* the tape is playing you will still have sound while it is zipping along..

Cheers,

80sFreak

DimensionDude
August 25th, 2006, 01:35 PM
I have an old tape recorder/player boombox that if you press the fast forward button *while* the tape is playing you will still have sound while it is zipping along..

Cheers,

80sFreak


Yep, I recall some tape decks having that feature. Most of them called it "cue" and "review." Handy for finding the beginning of a program on a cassette of TRS-80 PC-2 programs.

Kent

alexkerhead
August 25th, 2006, 01:54 PM
I just thought of one: 15 year old mix tapes never suffer from magnetic deterioration & are of CD quality!

A reel to reel tape can hold it's structure for around fifty years(up to 100)
And Reel tapes are CD quality.
Standard cassettes can hold it for up to 35 years.

USSEnterprise
August 25th, 2006, 02:27 PM
A reel to reel tape can hold it's structure for around fifty years(up to 100)
And Reel tapes are CD quality.
Standard cassettes can hold it for up to 35 years.

Kind of going off topic, but I have an old Reel to Reel tube recorder that has a screwed up amp. Anyone know of a way to test the tubes without buying a tube tester?

atari2600a
August 25th, 2006, 03:59 PM
A reel to reel tape can hold it's structure for around fifty years(up to 100)
And Reel tapes are CD quality.
Standard cassettes can hold it for up to 35 years.

Maybe, retail "non-pirated" authentic tapes, but not a mix tape recorded on a $2 blank cassette. I'm not saying that the recording will be completely gone, I'm saying it will be barely existant after 15 years. I've heard some mix tapes my step-brother recorded a couple years ago, & today they have no treble.

EDIT: As for reel tapes, it depends on the RPM & tape qualty...

ziloo
August 26th, 2006, 02:31 AM
Gentlemen,

Thank you so very much for all the technical info about reels, tapes, and
etc. But I started this thread as a comic relief in a rather technical
forum. I appreciate if you all join in for a fun break and stick to the topic.

:biggrin:

"As all precious things in life shall be vintage some day,
we should all get out more often and smell the roses..."---old Asian proverb

alexkerhead
August 26th, 2006, 10:28 PM
Cliche:
All mice clicks in movies, TV and commercials sound like cereal crunching.

alexkerhead
August 26th, 2006, 10:30 PM
Cliche:
A telephone in a movie always goes back to a ready tone when you get hung up on immediately.

alexkerhead
August 26th, 2006, 10:30 PM
Cliche:
All southerners have an aweful mississippi accent.

alexkerhead
August 26th, 2006, 10:31 PM
Cliche:
All CDs, DVDs, and games load immediately.

alexkerhead
August 26th, 2006, 10:32 PM
Cliche:
No gun has any recoil when fired.

alexkerhead
August 26th, 2006, 10:33 PM
Cliche:
Star bucks tastes good. (star bucks is nasty compared to good home brew.)

alexkerhead
August 26th, 2006, 10:34 PM
Cliche:
All web pages and images load scrolling downwards.

alexkerhead
August 26th, 2006, 10:35 PM
Cliche:
Your hair, make-up and spray on tan do not come off in the pool or any water body.

alexkerhead
August 26th, 2006, 10:36 PM
Cliche:
You can see in the dark with sun glasses on.

alexkerhead
August 26th, 2006, 10:36 PM
Cliche:
All camera flashes make a crunch noise when used.

alexkerhead
August 26th, 2006, 10:37 PM
Cliche:
Cell phones never have service, anywhere.

alexkerhead
August 26th, 2006, 10:38 PM
Cliche:
People, far into the future will still be petty and greedy.

ziloo
August 26th, 2006, 10:56 PM
Hail to Alex our "Cliche Man"!
What a stamina! one lap after another and another and ...

alexkerhead
August 26th, 2006, 11:08 PM
Hail to Alex our "Cliche Man"!
What a stamina! one lap after another and another and ...

lol, give me a day to come up with more.
Movies tick me off, they cliche everything...hehe

oh, and-
Cliche:

All nerds, geeks, and dorks eat copious amounts of hot pockets.

alexkerhead
August 26th, 2006, 11:12 PM
Cliche:
All hackers have 3-4 monitors with some kind of unknown code running.

alexkerhead
August 26th, 2006, 11:14 PM
Cliche:
All Alabamians live in either a trailor or plantation home.

alexkerhead
August 26th, 2006, 11:15 PM
Cliche:
Flashlights turn off without warning.

alexkerhead
August 26th, 2006, 11:16 PM
Cliche:
The life of one little girl is worth the life of 10 innocent bistandards.

alexkerhead
August 26th, 2006, 11:18 PM
Cliche:
Normal people know everything about video editing.

alexkerhead
August 26th, 2006, 11:20 PM
Cliche:
Moms are always hot with firm breasts.

alexkerhead
August 26th, 2006, 11:22 PM
Cliche:
All Russians are tall and blonde.

alexkerhead
August 26th, 2006, 11:23 PM
Cliche:
Germans are all up to no good.

alexkerhead
August 26th, 2006, 11:24 PM
Cliche:
Living with your parents means you're a virgin.

alexkerhead
August 26th, 2006, 11:25 PM
Cliche:
Big old houses are haunted.

Enough for now, but I got a lot more.

dongfeng
August 27th, 2006, 03:05 AM
Also remember that if you spill a drink on your computer it gains magical powers :D

Remember Electric Dreams?

ziloo
August 27th, 2006, 04:02 AM
lol ... That's right! How about the movie Short Circuit?

sbrown
August 27th, 2006, 09:28 AM
All image editing/forensics programs in movies can, against all odds, enlarge and sharpen an image so that an area of a single pixel can be resolve into a ultra-high resolution headshot of the bad guy. Bonus points if this can be done on what appears to be a regular desktop computer and in real time.

ziloo
August 27th, 2006, 10:44 AM
Nice one, sbrown!
Remember the movie Blade Runner?

atari2600a
August 27th, 2006, 10:47 AM
lol ... That's right! How about the movie Short Circuit?

Johnny 5 is alive!

bbcmicro
August 27th, 2006, 02:10 PM
"disassemble-reassemble!" - st00pit robot.

What is a hot pocket?

Cliché;
If you use a montage, then you can get real good at something in one day that would normally take years of dedicated practise (as shown by a certain film)

Cliché;
A good actor can never mime playing an instrument well.

atari2600a
August 27th, 2006, 03:33 PM
You don't have hot pockets in England? They're about the size of a burrito, & have tomato sauce, cheese, & pepperoni inside them. (plus they're microwavable)

By the way, I bet you got the montage cliche from Team America! (I have the PM's to prove it!)

"We need a montage, MONTAGE!"
*films self shaving & working out & edits it in Adobe Premiere Pro 2*









...Was "Team America: World Police" released in the UK?
Yup, got a copy somewhere
Utterly tasteless, offensive, disgusting, yet oddly amusing...
Of course, it all pro-american propaganda!

Well, that was the point of the movie! Just like King of The Hill (if you've seen the cartoon) is all pro-Texas propaganda. F*ck yeah!
Huzzah!

sbrown
August 27th, 2006, 04:28 PM
yeah, ziloo, I remember Blade Runner & the scene you're refering to.

However the only other movie I can bring to mind at the moment and remember the name of with an example of this is Star Trek III. I can't conjure up any of the bad spy/thriller/let's have a chase movies I was thinking of.

carlsson
August 28th, 2006, 05:07 AM
A good actor can never mime playing an instrument well.
Ah, true. I saw some episode of an teenager TV series (dunno what it was) and they had a school orchestra. The girls who mimed to play the flute didn't even have it next to their mouth, but more in line with the chin!

bbcmicro
August 28th, 2006, 06:06 AM
Often, if it is a vioin or guitar or a woodwind instrument, the fingers are moved at random to random places of the fingerboard/fretboard/instrument body often with complete disregard to the melody they are supposed to be playing. It annoys me even more when I know how it should be done.

carlsson
August 28th, 2006, 11:30 AM
OTOH, I've been to performances where the musicians moved their fingers more or less randomly over the instrument. It is called free form (jazz).

bbcmicro
August 28th, 2006, 12:20 PM
True, but the right notes come out.

ziloo
January 19th, 2009, 12:30 PM
Because there was talk about "Hollywood and computers", I thought of
updating this old thread: more cliche's (from the net),

1- Here's the scenario;

One person in a close group of friends (generally late teens) is trying
desperately to explain to the rest of his buddies that he saw:

a) alien being/ ufo landing
b) freaky mutated monster that was the result of a secret govt experiment.
c) a murder committed by a long dead serial killer/ boogeyman returned from
the grave.
d) vampire/werewolf/demon.

Having known this guy since he was a fetis, none of his closest, dearest
friends believe a word he says. Despite the fact that he

a) is covered in sweat and blood.
b) is wearing tatters for clothes
c) has recent flesh wounds
d) is completely terrified and quite likely done number 1's and possibly 2's
in his pants in the last 5 minutes.

2- A secret catacomb undisturbed for millenia, starts to collapse within
ten minutes of the central protagonists entering it. Same goes for the
evil scientist/mad ghost/deranged killer's diabolical laboratory/island domain/
evil mansion, which blows up/erupts up in flames for any number of reasons,
five minutes before the end of the film.

3- Worse than that is the 100 to 1000+ year-old very complicated structure
(Made from wood, perhaps over a bottomless pit) that works exactly as
designed. Leave a car undisturbed for 6 months and it'll likely not start, but
that trap where you have to play the exact notes on the piano to open
the door, lest the floor fall out from under you... works without fault after
a hundred years.

4- There is always this guy called "Kowalsky" in the bomb squad who gets
blown up into pieces. Some fellow called Cowalsky had mentioned this as
the reason why he didn't go into the police force!!!


:biggrin:

TandyMan100
January 29th, 2009, 05:38 AM
Cliche:
All hackers have 3-4 monitors with some kind of unknown code running.
Classic. Utterly Classic.

TandyMan100
January 29th, 2009, 05:44 AM
TopicClicheSubmitterAliens/ComputersAliens also use the same programs/operating systems we use such that their entire fleet can be disabled with a virus.wilsonComputers & Electronics Electronics always have small moving parts, blinking lights (usually red), and makes loud beeping sounds.
John R.Computers & Electronics Computers are able to zoom in on video freeze frames infinetly, the picture never beomes fuzzy or blurred.Ben JockischComputers & Electronics In the event that an electronic device is not working it can be fixed by simply cracking open the control panel and putting two random wires together causing a spark.Jeremiah WoodsComputers & Electronics A mouse is never used and never seen. The hero can get into any program by frantically typing on the keyboard. The hero must know all the shortcuts programmed into a computer he/she has never used before.Joe KnitterComputers & Electronics Whenever a computer guy tries to explain
what he's tring to do/or did, the villan
will interrupt him and say, Spare me the techno-babble!
DavidComputers & Electronics movie VCRs can zoom!maya hofnerComputers & Electronics If you type fast enough, you can hit several keys at once & still have them appear in the correct order on screen.maya hofnerComputers & Electronics computer transfering a file too slowly? simply repeat the words 'come on, come on' in an anxious voice, & the giant blue doanloading bar will finish.
also, in case your wondering: you'll be seconds of downloadig away from getting cought.maya hofnerComputers & Electronics When people in movies are searching on
the internet, they always use some high-
tech search engine which seems to find
everything, including top-secret documents.
Also, e-mail adresses are always fault
they are something like john@company@somewhere,
not name@domain.countryHuskyCOMPUTERS & ELECTRONICSAny satellite or other surveillance photo equiptment will be able to mysteriously add pixels until a given image is sharpened enough to discover the identity of the villian(ess). Usually this is done by a glasses-wearing technician by a single keystroke after being asked Can you sharpen this up a little bit? by the hero. The hero will never ask why didn't you show me the sharpened version of the image first instead of making me ask for it? It only took one keystroke, for god's sake.Leonard TafroComputers & Electronicsevery little boy can hack any top secret database he wants without turning on the computer or conecting into the netStav HarelComputers & ElectronicsComputer hackers are nearly always black guys.K MullarkeyCOMPUTERS & ELECTRONICSWhenever a computer isn't working properly, simply bang on the monitor or frantically keep pressing the same key over and over. Talking to the computer works too.Christopher L.COMPUTERS & ELECTRONICSMessages like No Record found always flash in red and beep. Whenever searching a database, every picture from every record (such as a mug shot)will flash by until the correct match is found. Also when you are searching for a fingerprint match, the computer will provide you with great graphics while you wait.Christopher L.COMPUTERS & ELECTRONICSIf you are a computer whiz, than you type while saying the words at the exact same time you're typing it while online, like I - am - fine, how - are - you - today? - Let's - play - a - game I don't know whether they need a speach class or a typing class.Christopher L.COMPUTERS & ELECTRONICSArcade games always play differently than they were designed to and make old Atari sounds such as pac-man dying when the game is over.Christopher L.Computers & ElectronicsIn the future, although we will be able to build super-intelligent humanoid robots and will have phenominal computer equipment, all security cameras and videophones will be fuzzy and crackly. Also, every robot will see the world in monochrome (usually green or red) through crackles of static.James WilkinsonComputers & ElectronicsDestroying a monitor either by throwing it, or discharging fire arms into the tube, will destroy all of the data on the computer thus ridding the evidence.Sean Donahuecomputers & electronicsnobody ever uses the mouse.somebody set up us the bombcomputers & electronicsEverybody, even the real computer nerds, think banging on the side of the monitor will make the computer work faster or better. Sjoerd BakkerComputers & ElectronicsPasswords are always simple words which are related on the file. For example hacker wants to open file which contains info about chemical weapon and the password is poison.Timo BredenbergComputers & ElectronicsThe printers have no memory. If you send a file to a printer which has temporarily run out of paper, the print job is terminated and a file has to be sent to the printer again. (Again, Clear and Present Danger)eevamaria.antinluoma@connet.fiComputers & ElectronicsIn sci-fi films set in the distant or near future, robots always clank and whirr as they move about, no matter how sophisticated soundproofing will be in the next century or four.JTComputers & ElectronicsIt is possible to guess someone's password in just a few guesses. More than likely, it will be the name of their dog or one of their children.Joe Benik

pontus
January 29th, 2009, 06:56 AM
whoa! Where did you cut'n'paste that from?

TandyMan100
January 29th, 2009, 07:51 AM
I forgot. But it was supposed to be a table ;-)

Here's another: There is always a loooooong line of buttons in missile silos that need pushing one... right.... after... the .... other...

Another: Things will work fine up until you need them the most...


:):):):):):):):):):)

Terry Yager
January 29th, 2009, 10:31 AM
My recent discovery: There is always a 'Control Room' with every wall covered with light panels, switches, dials, gauges, etc, and when they blow a cap, the entire room goes off in a shower of multi-colored spitzen sparken, smoke, flames, explosions of every kind. A full-blown pyro show, which the fuse somehow couldn't prevent.

--T

DimensionDude
January 30th, 2009, 07:24 PM
My recent discovery: There is always a 'Control Room' with every wall covered with light panels, switches, dials, gauges, etc, and when they blow a cap, the entire room goes off in a shower of multi-colored spitzen sparken, smoke, flames, explosions of every kind. A full-blown pyro show, which the fuse somehow couldn't prevent.

--T


Well, of course! The hugely expensive installation will self-destruct in an effort to save the 15 cent fuse.

Kent