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Thread: Considering leaving the ham hobby.

  1. #1

    Default Considering leaving the ham hobby.

    I joined the hobby originally for the community, but the more I use it, the more I can't stand those who insult others like "Go back to CB!" or "You sound young, you shouldn't be in this hobby.", etc. Honestly it hurts and when I already suffer from severe depression and got into it to help socialize with like minded hobbyists, it's a shame that sometimes it leads to more depression, or worse....considering harming myself because I clearly am young, it must be my fault.

    The last two times that really pushed me the wrong way were: "You can't key up without speaking! You're an idiot!" on a YouTube video which I said in the description was edited for privacy reasons since I didn't use a PO box on my license, and last time on the air, I was insulted and called a "stupid millennial who doesn't belong on 2 meters" because I stuttered when signing off because I have turrets and flubbed what I was saying. To say I was not only hurt but demoralized for a stuttering problem, is an understatement.

    The worst part is I know there's positive reasons to be in this hobby and I shouldn't let bad eggs ruin it. But I find more bad eggs every day and like Facebook which I left for being toxic, I'm considering leaving the hobby as well for the same reason.

    Has anyone else ever ran across this kind of behavior? Even if I stayed in the hobby, if I dare ask for their callsign to consider reporting it, they then go radio silence and "play dead" just because I didn't hear the ID to report it to the FCC. And even then, half the time I don't even feel like going through the process because it isn't worth it, nor would it change anything.

    I really hope I'm not the only one who runs into this kind of elitism.
    IBM PS/2 Model 25, NEC V30 8MHz, 640KB RAM, ATI VGA Wonder XL, 2GB SSD, Ethernet, DR DOS 6/GeOS, Xircom PE3 Ethernet

  2. #2

    Default

    The worst part is I know there's positive reasons to be in this hobby and I shouldn't let bad eggs ruin it. But I find more bad eggs every day and like Facebook which I left for being toxic, I'm considering leaving the hobby as well for the same reason.
    Not knowing the full story, but if you don't do the hobby for yourself, you're probably better off stop doing it. A hobby isn't something you do for others.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
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    Default

    What a shame that the toxic culture has propagated to hamdom! Nowadays, I just walk away from such stuff. I'm old enough that fighting unwinnable battles is a waste of whatever time I have left.

  4. #4

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Chuck(G) View Post
    What a shame that the toxic culture has propagated to hamdom! Nowadays, I just walk away from such stuff. I'm old enough that fighting unwinnable battles is a waste of whatever time I have left.
    That's why I left Facebook fairly silently. I had enough with daily toxicity, and deleted it. That alone helped so much (and gain a few days of battery on my phone according to Android), but the less I socialize the more "lonely" I feel. I got into the hobby for socializing and meeting new friends and people. For a while that was the case.

    I want to walk away, but of course I invested into this hobby, and spent some money, to me I feel like it's a loss I'm not sure I want to take, but should for my sanity. If anything maybe I'd renew the license just to keep it for emergency purposes should a hurricane for example, hit us, rather than use it as a socializing tool, but again that wasn't quite why I got into it.
    IBM PS/2 Model 25, NEC V30 8MHz, 640KB RAM, ATI VGA Wonder XL, 2GB SSD, Ethernet, DR DOS 6/GeOS, Xircom PE3 Ethernet

  5. #5

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Timo W. View Post
    Not knowing the full story, but if you don't do the hobby for yourself, you're probably better off stop doing it. A hobby isn't something you do for others.
    He's not doing it for others, but that doesn't mean that the local community that someone is involved in isn't important to their enjoyment of the hobby, to the point that the community is part and parcel to it.

    Some folks are simply more social than others. A lot of the stuff here on this forum is pretty isolating. Folks in their workshops, alone, caught up in their work. But no doubt there are folks who's enjoyment of even this hobby has been expanded because of their interaction with others (like via this forum), to the point that their online interaction may, in some ways, drive how they enjoy the hobby.

    Depends on the person.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Location
    Connecticut, USA
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    Facebook?! Don't bring that up here!

    People are people matter no what the collective or similar interest is. I have met some jerks in this hobby as well. People will be people. Timo said it best. Do it for yourself.

    I remember something my RDC (drill instructor) said to all of us that I never forgot, " If all of you expected to find something different here, if you expected people to be different here, if you didst like people around you before coming here listen... People are the same.. The people around you here are those people... No one is different. The same issues you had before you brought with you here...." He than finished that statement with "... But I am going to change that!"but that part doesn't really apply to this.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jun 2015
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    Sioux Falls SD
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    I've learned to ignore most of the insulting people out there, and cultivate those that can remain civil when they disagree. Sometimes it's hard to get past all the shouting and venom to find them, but it can be worthwhile, regardless of medium in your hobby.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Sep 2020
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    U.S. East Coast
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    Default

    I'm a ham, and I was in the UK before I moved to the US, yet in reality, I rarely used any radio equipment for voice. Probably too shy. I liked packet radio and experimentation more than anything, but when listening on the bands, I have to say that I have noticed a considerable degradation in 'manners' and attitude from some - though I don't think all that many.

    I'm much too insular to be sociable anyway, so it doesn't much matter to me, but if I were to give any advice, I think it would be to focus on what you want to put in to the hobby, not what others are saying or doing, or their attitude to you or others. That's a measure of them, not of you. Ignore people who criticize, because in life you will always find people who do that, and for your sake and everything important to you, filtering them out is the best way to handle them - and it'll infuriate them too.

    People who are critical of others by nature may have a loud voice, but that doesn't make them right, and it doesn't mean you have to listen and take notice. As a ham, you passed the same exam, you have the same right to be on the air. No disability or impediment can take that away, and nor should it.

    I wouldn't give up on the hobby, I'd use this as a springboard to get more involved. Join a local club, join in online forums, and - within the rules - key up whenever you feel like it.

    Personally, I would take the view that even taking their callsign and reporting them is beneath your dignity.

  9. #9

    Default

    I've snooped on some of the ham frequencies, and a**holery seems to be a constant anywhere with certain people. You have to do the hobbies you enjoy. My only interest now would be the use of the frequencies for tech experiments, and certainly not as a social outlet.
    I use my C128 because I am an ornery, stubborn, retro grouch. -- Bob Masse
    Various projects and oddities: http://oldvcr.blogspot.com/
    Machine room: http://www.floodgap.com/etc/machines.html

  10. #10
    Join Date
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    "Breaker Breaker do I have a taker"? Do some you remember the CB craze back in the 70's? It started out fairly nice and was a lot of fun when the FCC had a finger in it, with what having to register a callsign and all. Then as soon as the feds turned it loose you couldn't even have it on in your vehicle when children were present because of some of the foul mouthed types out on the highways, and it still like that for the most part.
    Surely not everyone was Kung-fu fighting

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