Agent Orange
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Mac now supports Windows
- Thread starter Agent Orange
- Start date
Note: There is at least one person on this forum who will not get this.
tipc
Banned
Macs only ever dreamed of being window stoppers. They do well as door stops though.
retro-pc_user
Veteran Member
I heard Apple is making a self-driving car. They are having trouble installing Windows.
tipc
Banned
Well it seems Apple has been producing robots since 1984. That's some trick when you can get hoomans to do the same thing year after year.
Stone
10k Member
This is old but...
IF MICROSOFT BUILT CARS...
_________________________________________________________________
The top 13 ways things would be different if Microsoft built cars:
1. A particular model year of car wouldn't be available until after
that year, instead of before.
2. Every time they repainted the lines on the road, you'd have to buy
a new car.
3. Occasionally your car would just die for no reason, and you'd have
to restart it. For some strange reason, you would just accept this.
4. You could only have one person at a time in your car, unless you
bought a car '95 or a car NT, but then you'd have to buy more seats.
5. You would be constantly pressured to upgrade your car... Wait a
sec, it's that way now!
6. Sun Motorsystems would make a car that was solar powered, twice as
reliable, 5 times as fast, but only ran on 5% of the roads.
7. The oil, alternator, gas, engine warning lights would be replaced
with a single "General Car Fault'' warning light.
8. People would get excited about the "new'' features in Microsoft
cars, forgetting completely that they had been available in other
brands for years.
9. We would still be waiting on the "6000 sux 58' '' model to come
out.
10. We'd all have to switch to Microsoft Gas (tm).
11. The US government would be getting subsidies from an automaker,
instead of giving them.
12. New seats will force everyone to have the same size ass.
13. Ford, General Motors and Chrysler would all be complaining because
Microsoft was putting a radio in all its models.
_________________________________________________________________
Stone
10k Member
...and another old one:
WHAT IF OPERATING SYSTEMS RAN AIRLINES?
Somebody on the net asked that preposterous question and here are the
responses, as told to us by Alan Paller, Computer Associates International
Inc.'s director of open systems.
DOS AIRLINE
Everybody pushes the airplane until it glides, then they jump on and let the
plane coast until it hits the ground again, then push again, jump on again,
and so on.
MAC AIRWAYS
All stewards, captains, baggage handlers, and ticket agents look the same,
act the same, and talk the same. Every time you ask questions about
details, you are told you don't need to know, don't want to know, and
everything will be done for you without you having to know, so just shut up.
WINDOWS AIRLINE
The airport terminal is nice and colorful with friendly stewards, easy access
to the plane, an uneventful takeoff. . . then the plane blows up without any
warning whatsoever.
FLY NT
Everyone marches out onto the runway, says the password in unison, and forms
the outline of an airplane. Then they all sit down and make a whooshing
sound like they're flying.
UNIX AIRLINE
Everyone brings one piece of the plane with them when they come to the
airport. They all go out on the runway and put the plane together piece by
piece, arguing constantly about what kind of plane they're building.
-- -- --
You forget of course that many people flying WindowsAIR either don't realize
there's another airline, or can't afford the ticket prices, or don't mind
being able to fly only to rural areas.
-- -- --
True enough, AmigaAir designed a wonderful airplane and very beautiful and
all that rot, but you got the end bit confused.
Right after take off, AmigaAir fires the pilot, copilot and all the air crew,
and refuses to tell anyone that the airplane exists, but insists it will be
the most popular airline.
Then, while in mid-flight, the airline dissolves, but all the airports insist
it's business as usual.
WHAT IF OPERATING SYSTEMS RAN AIRLINES?
Somebody on the net asked that preposterous question and here are the
responses, as told to us by Alan Paller, Computer Associates International
Inc.'s director of open systems.
DOS AIRLINE
Everybody pushes the airplane until it glides, then they jump on and let the
plane coast until it hits the ground again, then push again, jump on again,
and so on.
MAC AIRWAYS
All stewards, captains, baggage handlers, and ticket agents look the same,
act the same, and talk the same. Every time you ask questions about
details, you are told you don't need to know, don't want to know, and
everything will be done for you without you having to know, so just shut up.
WINDOWS AIRLINE
The airport terminal is nice and colorful with friendly stewards, easy access
to the plane, an uneventful takeoff. . . then the plane blows up without any
warning whatsoever.
FLY NT
Everyone marches out onto the runway, says the password in unison, and forms
the outline of an airplane. Then they all sit down and make a whooshing
sound like they're flying.
UNIX AIRLINE
Everyone brings one piece of the plane with them when they come to the
airport. They all go out on the runway and put the plane together piece by
piece, arguing constantly about what kind of plane they're building.
-- -- --
You forget of course that many people flying WindowsAIR either don't realize
there's another airline, or can't afford the ticket prices, or don't mind
being able to fly only to rural areas.
-- -- --
True enough, AmigaAir designed a wonderful airplane and very beautiful and
all that rot, but you got the end bit confused.
Right after take off, AmigaAir fires the pilot, copilot and all the air crew,
and refuses to tell anyone that the airplane exists, but insists it will be
the most popular airline.
Then, while in mid-flight, the airline dissolves, but all the airports insist
it's business as usual.
Wow I remember those circulating since the BBS era, along with the "Husband v1.0" and "Wife v1.0" jokes