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Wanted: Jr Data Scientist

Agent Orange

Agent Orange

Veteran Member
Joined
Sep 24, 2008
Messages
6,640
Location
SE MI
Lifted from Facebook .. .


Looking to hire a Jr Data Scientist


  • [FONT=&quot]15 years Python[/FONT]
  • 30 years SQL
  • 20 years AWL
  • 15 years Spark
  • Core contributor to assembly code base.
  • Should have some sort of martial arts experience, whether Ninja,
    Jujitsu, or Karate. All 3 preferred.
  • Knows SQL, NoSQL, NewSQL, and all future flavors of SQL.
  • Project management experience.
  • Strong experience with Kelas,ToscaNova, Sklearn, XODuval, and
    preferably has written their own ML library from scratch.
  • Should have published at least 7 top level academic papers preferably
    focused around a Conventional Document Hack propagating Neural
    Network.
  • Open source contributor at least 5 projects.
  • Experience leading teams of 10,000 people or more.
  • Managed a CICD pipeline for an application with at least 2 billion daily users.
  • Should have at least 1 PhD 5 is preferred.

Yes,we have ping-pong tables and an open floor plan and lots of salty snacks in the
breakroom.Organic Kombucha on tap.

The interviews will consist of a 5 day process of whiteboarding algorithms from scratch
followed by writing your own compiler and a coding exam will be taken at random from
the 20 most popular programming languages.
 
Last edited:
Nothing cracks me up more than when the HR dept. writes “needs n years of m”, where m hasn’t even existed for n years.
 
You forgot to add that the starting salary for the suitably qualified candidate will be $45,000 PA, with an opportunity to increase to $59,500 PA over a 10 year time frame, provided the candidate is prepared to work 70 hour weeks. And a company car ( Ford Pinto) will be provided at times when the sales team are not using it.
 
Hugo Holden said:
You forgot to add that the starting salary for the suitably qualified candidate will be $45,000 PA, with an opportunity to increase to $59,500 PA over a 10 year time frame, provided the candidate is prepared to work 70 hour weeks. And a company car ( Ford Pinto) will be provided at times when the sales team are not using it.
Click to expand...

Yes, those are nice perks.
 
Just guessing what is the experience of people who will be making interview.
Is there a salary written nearby? Perhaps somebody offer for it at least 1 billion $ yearly ;-)
 
tipc said:
I know BASIC real well. Do you think I qualify? Man I can just see myself joy ridin in that Pinto.
Click to expand...

That reminds of some Offspring song lyrics, Pretty Fly for a white guy:

He needs some cool tunes, not just any will suffice
But they didn't have Ice Cube so he bought Vanilla Ice
Now cruising in his Pinto, he sees homies as he pass
But if he looks twice they're gonna kick his lily ass
 
In a recent internal search for a Jr Data Scientist I applied but was told attending University didn't matter, they were only interested in applicants who had taken ONLINE CLASSES.

I will not be pushing for any interaction with that group in the future.
 
I've just realized the perfect candidate was in front of us the whole time, Weird Al Yankovic, you must watch his music video which outlines some of his qualifications, for example:

There's no killer app I haven't run (run)
At Pascal, well, I'm number one (one)
Do vector calculus just for fun
I ain't got a gat, but I got a soldering gun (What?)
Happy Days is my favorite theme song
I could sure kick your butt in a game of ping pong
I'll ace any trivia quiz you bring on
I'm fluent in JavaScript as well as Klingon

Please watch the video, consider it his job interview:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N9qYF9DZPdw
 
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