I have a few 386's... my PS/2 Model 70 at stock (IIRC this one has a 386DX/25 and copro in it), my PS/2 Model 80 with a 386DX/20, and a generic 386DX/40 with co-pro.
The IBM's are obviously stock with graphics and sounds, but with the DX/40, I've got an ET-4000 and 16mb RAM in there. Only because I had the RAM available. I could easily get by with 2-4mb. This box will likely be the most played-with box, so I figured I'd stock it up with 16mb in case I ever got a wild hair to run Linux.
I was always partial to the Sound Blaster Pro v2.0, so that's usually my card of choice. From experience back in the day, the Pro Audio Spectrum 16 was a nice card as well - good Sound Blaster emulation, and IIRC, on-board OPL3, but SB emulation required a driver that memory says was either 13 or 16kb of RAM. Most had options for CD-ROMS, but figure 60kb for the combined SCSI driver and MSCDEX.
Hard drive size is personal preference. Personally, I'm good for a 120mb vintage drive, or a 2gb CF partitioned up into multiple drives. I'd just say try and see - that's half of the fun of these vintage builds, right?