Pretty much the only "period correct" use for extended RAM under DOS 3.3 was to use VDISK.SYS or RAMDRIVE.SYS (depending on whether you're running PC-DOS or MS-DOS) to make a RAMdisk out of it. The versions included with 3.3 don't use the XMS API, so they tend to not be good citizens when it comes to getting along with the scarce amount of other software from that period that might want to use extended RAM. I think there were third-party disk caching programs from that period that could also used extended memory without an XMS driver, but I can't name one off the top of my head.
Or to put it another way, "XMS" wasn't really a thing until Windows 2.x/286 introduced the himem.sys driver. So if you really want to use XMS on DOS 3.3 I guess the period correct way would be to use the HIMEM.SYS from a pre-3.0 copy of Windows.