Welcome to these forums.
I have an IBM 5150 revision 3 ...
Just to be sure (i.e. no misunderstandings), confirm for us that the motherboard is a '64KB-256KB' one, fitted with the 10/27/82 revision of BIOS.
You can establish that from the information at minuszerodegrees.net
... with 128 out of 256k occupied, I have the ram for the other banks it's just that when I insert it and configure the switches to be what I think is correct all that works is the power supply.
Either:
* Power supply overloaded, and has shut down, but because the fan in the particular power supply is AC powered, the fan still spins.
* Power supply operating okay, producing all output voltage and signals, but something is going wrong related to the motherboard.
Are you able to measure the +5V line on the motherboard? If so, that will inform you as to which of the above two is the scenario that you are in. If no +5V, then the power supply is being overloaded, which would suggest a bad RAM chip (bad in a way that overloads the power supply).
I can run the computer with just the current banks filled and it will read as 28636 bytes, so roughly 3.5kb, ...
28636 bytes = roughly 28 KB.
Right there, "28636 bytes" is not making sense. Two banks of 64 KB totals 128 KB.
I know where you are you getting "28636 bytes" from? It is from Cassette BASIC. The BIOS on the motherboard believes that 32 KB is fitted, and when Cassette BASIC starts, Cassette BASIC takes some of that RAM, then Cassette BASIC displays "28636 Bytes free".
There are bugs in the 10/27/82 revision of motherboard BIOS that result in the BIOS incorrectly determining that amount of RAM if four banks of RAM are not fitted and the motherboard switches set accordingly. And sometimes we see people not set the SW1 and SW2 switch banks properly.
I have just now brought out a 64KB-256KB type of 5150 motherboard. RAM banks 0 and 1 populated. Switches 3 and 4 on SW1 set to OFF/ON. Switches 1 through 5 on SW2 set to ON/OFF/ON/ON/ON. At power up, the POST displays "2055 201", then Cassette BASIC starts and among other things, Cassette BASIC displays "28636 Bytes free". That unexpected behaviour is due to the aforementioned bugs.
If I fill ram bank 2 it stays in a parity check 1 loop.
For me: RAM banks 0 and 1 and 2 populated. Switches 3 and 4 on SW1 set to ON/OFF. Switches 1 through 5 on SW2 set to ON/ON/OFF/ON/ON. At power up, the POST displays "3055 201", then Cassette BASIC starts and among other things, Cassette BASIC displays "45020 Bytes free". That unexpected behaviour will be due to the aforementioned bugs.
Your "parity check 1 loop" may be due to incorrect switch settings, but again, one or two or three bank population with the 10/27/82 revision BIOS is an invalid configuration (due to the bugs).
Bank 0 is the default ram which is NEC 833IM6225, bank 1 is M3764-20RS, banks 2 and 3 when I fill them are MN4164P-15A.
MN4164P-15A (good ones) are not expected to be a problem. Plugging them in the correct orientation? Is one or more getting hot to touch?
The aforementioned +5V measurement would be a good thing to do.